Happy 1st Birthday, Chiana! :)
Wow I can't believe it's been a year! I haven't seen her since she was a newborn infant! I can still remember last 4th year college when Charl was extremely problematic about her pregnancy, but now, look! Everything turned out for the best :)
And what a lovely child! Inaanak ko ata yan! Hehe. Charl, you must feel very blessed. I'm so proud of you, and can you just imagine what life could've been if you didn't stick to your 'decision'? No way!
You could've deprived the world of such a wonderful blessing :) Happy birthday, my inaanak! Ninang Jenie loves you! ;-D
4:13 PM
Thursday, June 30, 2005
flip Pinas
Watching the news is the new form of masochism. I’m trying to detach myself from what’s happening in the political arena lately, but it’s too hard. It’s screaming all over the place. I’m having a lousy day right now because I woke up to shrieking and teary-eyed Susan Roces on national TV. I can’t blame her if she wants GMA to resign or be impeached. Poe’s loss in the elections probably led him to his graveyard. But there’s no logic on that. Some will say that he died of natural causes. I’d say he died because he lost over a woman.
I'm not in favor of what GMA has done. She’s still an a** for cheating, and even a bigger butt*** for admitting it. Someone once said, whether you want to win or lose, always cheat. It’s quite stupid, but if you think about it, almost everyone in politics cheat. And people have gotten used to it. It is difficult to remain honest in a society like this. You’ll just get stepped on and you’ll get caught under the pit.
Two Sundays ago, Tatoff and I were on our way to his house because it’s Father’s Day. We swerved to the right and failed to notice MMDA men standing by. We were asked to stop, and the man began to blab blah blab about our violations and what we can do to get the license back. Tatoff never got caught before, and bribing didn’t enter his head immediately. I was there getting impatient because I know what he wants. I lost it and told Tatoff to show him the money. He still remained polite and listened to the officer. "May seminar po kada Lunes ng 3 oras. Tapos pwede nyo nang makuha ung lisensya nyo." Tatoff asks more questions about his fine and the seminar schedules. The conversation wasn’t going anywhere, and I can’t believe those nasty offenders actually attend a seminar on this crap.
Finally, Mr. MMDA blew it. "Kung gusto nyo po ngayon nyo na bayaran ung fine para hindi na kayo maabala. Sign na lang kayo dito tapos kami nang bahala." There you go, I bet he was dying to say that 15 minutes ago. Tatoff asked how much he had to pay. "Kahit kalahati na lang po ng fine nyo." That’s a whopping P500 down the drain, man! And only stayed on that freaking yellow line for less than a minute! Sheesh.
Tatoff felt disappointed for what happened but I told him that it’s the sad reality in our country. Halos lahat nadadaan na sa pera. It was Father’s Day and the officer may need the money. At least that’s all I can tell him to lessen the pain of losing a day’s salary.
Speaking of money, it’s even more frustrating to hear about all this scandals and outbursts while the Filipino is still stuck in a rut of bills, bills and more bills to pay. The price of gas is rising P4 per liter tomorrow. I don’t drive a car, and I don’t have mouths to feed but that doesn’t mean I have the power to squander what I earn. I know I need to save up, and with the rate our economy is going, I’m sure most of the people in my generation should begin saving for that bleak ‘future’ somewhere out there.
It’s no wonder people are getting married later these days. Who needs more masochism? If my mom got married at my age, does that make me less mature to view the responsibility of marriage as an immense fear? Who wants to settle down when you’re earning an amount that’s not even enough to house you in a tiny condo? Who wants to get married when you’re savings is only enough to buy a refrigerator? And I’m saying this because I think women shouldn’t depend on their spouse’s savings all their lives. That’s why dependent housewives end up as suffering more after a divorce. Lack of money means lack of power, pride and confidence, unfortunately.
So what do we do if the economy turns from worst to worsssstttt? Leave the country. At least that’s what most people are doing. And given the chance to do that, I would too. I don’t know how and I don’t know where, but I would if I could. At least that option will detach you from the perils of your own nation, even for just a little while. I know Filipinos abroad will still find their way back. Most are just there to save up for their family while they still can. They leave to live, then return to die. As a visiting OFW said, "Mas gusto pa rin naming mamatay dito."
"..ang mamatay ng dahil sa ‘yo."
Mabuhay ang Pilipinas.
3:55 PM
the first wish list
If they say that a goal not written is just a wish, then is a written wish considered as a goal?
Anyway, here it goes:
1) purple Chucks with green shoelaces
2) orange & blue Nike sneakers
3) blue Adidas rubber sandals
4) any Adidas shirt or jacket
5) flat girly sandals at Sole & Co.
6) colorful shirt at Happy Days
7) Earphones for the Asus laptop
8) 2 speakers for the laptop again
9) more DVDs to watch
10) a new cellphone plus a line
11) a landline at the condo (for Internet purposes)
12) pairs of Levi’s jeans or the unique comfy pants at Defect
13) any People are People shirt
14) a new digicam or rechargeable battery for the one we have
15) a wonderful raket so I can buy all these :P
2:12 PM
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Yipee!
Everything's okay now, woohoo! :)
I'm so happy! :-D
9:55 AM
one big fight
In Filipino, "Isang Malaking Away".
Strike 3 na. And this time, I was the one who got really pissed, and hurt.
Ewan ko na. Naguguluhan ako. Mahirap pala.
He wanted to talk again today, but I refused to confront him yet. He might just end up walking out on me again.
At ayoko na ulit mangyari yon.
Nakakainis. Ngayon lang ako nainis sa kanya ng ganito. Pero sa tingin ko, mas naiinis ako sa sarili ko.
I want to detach myself from his choices, but it's hard.
Eto na ung kinakatakot ko. Bago maging kami, akala ko kaya ko. Kaya pumayag ako, kahit doon sya nagtratrabaho.
I don't want to be controlling. I don't want to dictate.
Pero mukhang gusto nya maging ganun ako. Ayoko. Hindi sya magkakaroon ng backbone. Gusto ko gawin nya ang isang bagay hindi lang dahil sa 'kin at para sa relasyon na 'to.
He should have the right motivation. He shouldn't be too dependent.
See, I'm being too idealistic again.
Naguguluhan ako sa lahat. Naguguluhan ako sa kanya, at sa sarili ko. Mahina ako sa mga ganito. Itambak mo na sa 'kin ang ibang mga problema, 'wag lang ung mga 'ganito'.
Bwiset talaga. Hassle.
But it's all part of it. It's all part of the journey. Stop thinking ahead, Jenie.
Maiiwan mo lang sarili mo.
6:53 PM
Monday, June 27, 2005
Yehey ID!
Got my company ID after 4months! Finally :) My thumbprint looks like a supersized GMA mole though. Di pwedeng magamit sa CSI. :P
1:45 PM
Brigher than Sunshine
by Aqualung
from the "A Lot Like Love" Soundtrack
I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling
Tied up in ancient history
I didn’t believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling
What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
and it's brighter than sunshine
I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling
I didn't have the strength to fight
Suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling
What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rainfall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine.
Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me
What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rainfall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
I got a feeling in my soul.
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun, sunshine.
3:00 PM
Friday, June 24, 2005
steady lang
Hmm there must be something wrong with me. I haven't had my screaming bouts of rage and frustration for months now. (Though I really got pissed when my officemate farted yesterday, that's why I cursed him to death) Yup, I still think I'm ill-tempered, but I guess I've tamed down a bit. A bit lang. What could be the reason? As if I didn't know.
I've been quite contented lately, I guess. I learned not to look too ahead so I won't be anxious about earning and saving up for the future. I've tried to shorten my list of wants now. I no longer plan on getting an i-Pod, on going to Singapore next month (sorry Coni, Boracay muna), on getting a new phone, blahblahblah. Financial matters make my life complicated. Boundless wants, limited means. Darn it.
If I think about it, there's still room to earn more, but there isn't enough time. Unless I work on weekends, of course. Imagine having to work from 9AM-7PM or sometimes til 9. Sleep at around 12MN, then wake up at 730AM the next day. That only leaves you with more or less 4 hours for extracurricular activities. And that for me only includes watching tv or a DVD (only 1 per weeknight),or watching a movie at the mall, dining out with him or with friends, or shopping in a hurry because shops close at 8, playing badminton for 2 hours once a week or doing something on the laptop.
So little time, so much to do as usual. Good thing I don't spend much time on travel. It only takes me 30 minutes max to get home. If we still lived in Laguna, that would be 1 and a half hours less time for rest or leisure. Thanks to Mother for deciding on living at our little ipis-stricken condo, which is near my office. It's supposed to be walking distance, that is if I'm not too lazy. I took a cab today by the way. Forgive me for waking up at 8:38 AM. Ugh ugh ugh.
============
I'm excited to go out with Cris and Jamie (HS kabarkada) on Friday. They work for Super Ferry and they're only on land every Friday night! Imagine that! They don't even have 'normal' weekends coz they live on the ship. Yeah yeah I should be more grateful. But they seem to be having so much fun in their job. Isipin mo na lang, paggising mo, nasa trabaho ka na. Hehe ayus! See you Crit and Demi! :)
10:57 AM
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
happy 1/3 anniv!
WOOOOOOWWWW!!!
It's been 4 months
... since I got here in Saatchi
... since I've been with him :)
I'm very happy, of course.
2 months na lang
... regular na sana ko sa S----
... tapos na probationary period ng relationship
Hehe. I read somewhere that the first 6 months is also very crucial in a relationship.
Analysis:
At work - 1 major booboo
(had a 2-hour lunchbreak and I didn't know I had a deadline!Buti nakaabot. Whew)
With him - 2 fights
(both of which are caused by my tactlessness. Darn)
Hmmm... So far, so good I guess. It's been great, Tatoy. Thank you :)
6:00 PM
Monday, June 20, 2005
Nafete-fete sa Mordor
Sorry but they're really scary. I tried conquering my fears by walking ahead of our group, but I couldn't help but flee at the sight of an Orc Batallion. I felt frustrated because I couldn't explain why I fear just walking past them. I hate the fact that I'm afraid, and I hate the reality that there really is a gap between their world and ours.
And I thought I've seen the real world. Ugh. I feel horrible.
*To know what I'm talking about, check out JM's blog with pictures.
www.jm.aeces.net/blog/ or click on my links below.
1:23 PM
R.I.P MAC
My ancient Mac died today.
I'm now computer-less in the office. Naki-table na lang ako sa officemate ko to write this. Great. Buti na lang walang work order.
We just played Scrabble. I lost. Darn it. I won the other day though. Oh well. I'll miss my ancient Mac. Good thing the files weren't lost.
I'm lost.
Bye Mr. Mac. Thank you for leaving me.
I'll find someone better.
Harhar ;-)
3:20 PM
Friday, June 17, 2005
life, ugh life. here i go again
I’ve been bloghopping and for some reason, I came across the blogs of young women who are pregnant or single moms with kids. Honestly, I’m overwhelmed whenever I read their entries. I try to imagine myself in their shoes, but I just end up squirming. I know these people are almost my age, and that just baffles me even more.
At the age of 22, my mother had my eldest brother and migrated to the metro with my father to raise a family despite very limited means. I know it’s never good to compare, but I just can’t help it. Whenever I encounter women with kids, I try to build this huge wall to detach from their situation. Yet oftentimes, I fail because here I am, still thinking about their cases. Honestly, I feel so immature for my age. Believe it or not, I can’t imagine myself as a mother. I find it really difficult to even envision myself holding an infant, my own child, in my arms. It scares me at times, but I try to shrug it off most of the time to lessen life’s complications. We’re supposed to cross the bridge when we get there, right? Whew. I’m feeling queasy just thinking about it again.
Just the other day, I had this absurd thought in my head. "If having a child is what really makes a woman, then so be it." Then my super ego goes, "Damn life. People just want to conform to the norms."
Birth – school – graduation – work – marriage – death.
Does it really have to contain all those phases? It is rather annoying to think so, but living in this kind of society doesn’t make it any easier. Too conservative, too Catholic, too patriarchal, too close-minded. That’s how I see our culture sometimes. Do you ever wonder why people immediately judge someone who isn't married at 35? Isn't it so stupid when they call women "manangs" when their single at 40, and call men "mapili" or "very career-driven" when they don't have a spouse? My officemate told me the other day that when his supposed-to-be date asked how old he is, (he's 34) she immediately replied with: "What?! What's wrong with you??!?! You don't have a girlfriend, you're not married and your don't have kids?!?!?" I definitely urged him not to go out with such an insipid human being.
Having brought up by someone who adheres to Opus Dei principles, I can’t help but have conflicting convictions. Sometimes I just do things because they say it's the "right" one to do. Sometimes I have beliefs because they're considered "normal". Deviating from them will just add complications, so be it still against my will, I shall try to convince myself that marriage is good and having kids is a part of life. Sheesh.
I know I'm being such a brat, but I don't want to apologize for what I stand for. I still hate the fact that I was brought up with the notion that kissing is bad. How horrible is that?! I hate it, but it’s already within my system. I feel the urge to go to Church for confession whenever I feel I’ve committed one sin from the long list of "Examination of Conscience". I read it once a week in all my high school years, and I think I know all the forbidden acts as proclaimed by the Catholic Church by now. I’m not proud of it, and how I wish I knew less to rid me of the guilt I feel every time I go against those on the list.
Okay enough of my rants. I know I'm just full of fear, and pride. Truthfully, I admire those who have the strength to take the plunge of marriage. I admire women who chose to keep their child even if they’re at the prime of their youth. I admire you for going through each day, undaunted, even without having the father of your child by your side. I admire you for having the courage that I don't have. I admire you all for being nothing but selfless, after boldly facing the 9 months, plus a lifetime worth of pains from motherhood. I know the happiness a child can bring will make the entire journey worthwhile.I know that holding your child, seeing him walk, smile and laugh can take away all the pain in an instant.
But then again, I guess I don’t really know.
Maybe not in a couple of years. I do hope so.
12:50 PM
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
ismayl! :D
Pic taken by Mama last Sunday, June 12. For some reason, we're both wearing Puerto Galera shirts to sleep hehe.
Umm I slept beside my mom by the way. Ganun talaga ang buhay haha!
Anyway, I love this pic!
Super ngiti! :)
2:32 PM
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
free day :)
We used Mama's free overnight stay at Microtel Batangas for the long weekend. I'm so happy she wanted him to join us. :) Haayyyy :)
We went to Ayala Greenfield Estate first then checked in. We watched "City of God" using the laptop, then just lounged around, slept and watched TV. The next day, we ate breakfast, and got too lazy to swim so we slept again, went to Ayala Westgrove after then headed back to Makati. Sobrang lakas ng ulan!
Haay I wanna go out-of-town with him. Sana payagan kami. Better yet, we'll invite another pair whose parents don't allow them to go out 'alone' too. Hi Aja & Gelo! hehe :-)
12:39 PM
tres
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Jenie
2. Ling-Ling
3. Jeniebur
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. pride
2. drive (to achieve goals etc.)
3. humor
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. pride
2. drive (to achieve goals etc.)
3. hostility
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Filipino
2. Spanish
3. Chinese
THREE PEOPLE WHO MATTER MOST TO YOU:
1. family - Mama, Kuya Mark & Migs
2. close high school friends
3. close college friends
teka, 3 nga lang eh
1. Mama
2. Aja
3. Tatoff (yihee!)
Eto rin sagot ko sa team building ek-ek sa office ah.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. flying ipis, centipede, worms!
2. drowning - in water, not in misery. hehe
3. absolute silence
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. jeans
2. cologne
3. cellphone
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. old blue jeans
2. new green shirt
3. brown Tribu sandals from Tatoff
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS: (currently)
1. Maroon 5
2.
3. Bob Marley
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:(currently)
1. Must Get Out
2. Island in the Sun - Weezer
3. Buffalo Soldier
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. honesty / loyalty
2. laughter / friendship
3. stability / independence
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. It's red china day today
2. I hate my officemate
3. I like my officemate
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. smile (hahaha!)
2. built
3. height
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. blogging (duh)
2. watching movies
3. making faces
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. eat
2. sleep
3. watch a movie
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. lawyer
2. copywriter / entrepreneur - sana pwedeng sabay. someday...
3. pilot
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. anywhere in Europe
2. Thailand or Malaysia
3. Bohol or Palawan - sa Pinas muna syempre
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. I like aggressive sports
2. I check out other girls (because there are more hot girls most of the time!)
3. I want to hit my officemate in the face
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. I find furry animals adorable - cats, dogs, bears, rabbits, hamsters etc.
2. I get depressed every month because of PMS
3. I hate obnoxious boys
THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. Colin Farell
2. David Beckham
3. Hugh Jackman
THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Gavin
2. Basti
3. Colin (oops puro hot men)
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. bungee jumping, white water rafting, parasailing, surfing, jetskiing
2. travel around different continents
3. drive at 130 kph or more
Argh andami ko pang hindi nagagawa. Sana hindi pa ko mamatay.
5:32 PM
Friday, June 10, 2005
long weekend ahead!
As usual, I'm elated on a Friday! Woohoo! Thank God GMA did something right and declared Monday as as special non-working holiday. Woopee woopee woopee!!!
We might use Mama's free accommodations in Batangas. But it's only one room and we'd have to buy earplugs to put up with Tatoff's snoring. Hehe joke lang! :)
---
Anyway, my officemates are forever green-minded! Ugh ugh ugh. Men. :S Everything seems to be related to the act, or the organs. Whatda*&%#&%?!! Oh well that's life.
I want to watch another French Film tonight, but there's too much people. We saw "The Bullet' or Le Boulet last Wednesday. Coni, Pong and JM went to Greenbelt. It was hilarious, Coni kept clapping haha! JM got envious of the egoys smoking crispy doobie, but got pissed coz the film wasn't R-18.
---
Oh yeah, it's my kalaguyong Coni's birthday today!!!! Happy -- Birthday, Coni! Aylabyuuu!
11:30 AM
love fool
After typing my entry yesterday, I thought I just had to do it. I couldn’t sit still and work knowing that he’s within the vicinity, so I finally stood up, told my boss that I’m just going out to get something at Peninsula Manila.
There I was, asking the ladies at the front desk where the wedding receptions are held. I didn’t even know the last name of the couple. I went up and found no one. Apparently, everyone’s still at the church, and I was there, the unknown guest, waiting for all the guests to arrive.
I sat down at the lobby and checked everyone out. It was a boring sight, and it didn’t help the butterflies in my stomach. I felt anxious as I waited for people who didn’t even know I existed in that hotel. I felt queasy because I’ve never run out of the office to do something like that.
Then it was almost 6PM. I lost my patience and blew the surprise, (well not really) because I got my officemates waiting for me for a brainstorming session. I called him up.
‘Nasan ka?’
‘Ayala Ave.’
"Nasa Manila Pen ako. Su-surprise kita. Antagal mo!’
‘Nasiraan friend ko eh.’
‘Punta ka na dito, tumakas lang akong office!’
‘Seryoso ba yan?’
‘Oo! Punta ka na, dali!’
I know I got BRAT all over my face that afternoon. Geesh, talk about impatient. I hate it when it happens, but I can’t help it.
He arrives with a friend, as I waited at the entrance. I couldn’t take my eyes off him when I saw him wearing a coat and tie. He kissed me in the cheek as I blushed and whispered how good he looked in that attire. It’s a really big leap from the usual shirt, jeans and rubber shoes get up. I was all smiles for I was so thrilled to see him.
I told him I sneaked out of the office and he told me that I shouldn’t do that. "Eh gusto kita makita eh!" Knowing myself, I’d do anything to get what I want. It can both be good and bad, I know. Though in this case, I’m certain I’m on the brighter side. Seeing him smile like that already made my tiring day, and I don’t care if I have to extend my working hours tonight to make up for lost time. Like what a quote said, "You’ll know you’re in love when you find yourself doing crazy things for the other".
"I can’t believe you’d do that" was all he could say.
Well, Tatoff, you should know by now that I will do the most foolish things for you.
Better get used to it. ;)
8:17 PM
Thursday, June 09, 2005
backtrack
5 days ago...
- Suprise Despedida for Randy at Gerry's Libis. Good thing it was a success :)
- Took the MRT, LRT2 and a cab with my officemate
- Walked with Tatoff to his office for the 1st time
- Didn't drink alcohol at all
4 days ago...
- Watched 'The People vs Larry Flynt' on VCD
- Saw Courtney Love's breasts numerous times. Ugh.
- Met up with Gabi, she ate at Cafe Bola and I told her my only-Gabi-should-know kwento
- Met up with Mon and went to Mezze. Their Danish friend, Michael arrived too
- Tatoff had his first 3-hour drive from his house because of heavy rains & traffic
- Went to the condo and talked
- He left and I watched 'Sex & the City' til 330 AM.
3 days ago...
- Watched 'Sideways' on DBD. Didn't like it.
- Had siesta
- Watched 'Madagascar' with Mother. "I like to move it, move it!"
- Went to Gateway to meet up with him. Bumped into Cathy & Wes. The four of us ate at Cafe Bola, while reading the little pink "Sex Tips" book we bought as a wedding gift for Tatoy's high school friend
- Watched 'Sin City' and loved it! Great cinematography. 100% visually appealing for me despite all the extremely morbid scenes
2 days ago...
- Randy leaves for Singapore
- Watched '5x2' at the French Fil Fest in GB3 with Shela, my ex-officemate, EJ & Abe.
- Met up with JM for some chismis, drank at Cafe Bola and Krocodile Grille til 1AM
Yesterday...
- Ate dinner with officemates. Our boss treated us, yehey!
- Attended the 2004 Creative Guild Awards
- Went home early to catch up on sleep
Today...
- Tatoff's friend's getting married and I feel bad that I can't go with him
- We listened to a talk from a Creative Director of Saatchi Worldwide, and realized even more how big the advertising WORLD is. Raise the bar!
- I'm supposed to be working but I decided to blog as usual.
2:20 PM
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Growing Pains
I had a meaningful conversation with my officemate last night. He’s 34 and he’s been through a lot in terms of having relationships, and I’d say I learned from his pointers.
It all started when we heard our boss call his wife on the phone. He called her "Hon". My officemate whispered "Namiss ko na yung may tinatawag na ‘Hon’, as he hit his chest with his fist jokingly. I asked him, "Ganun ba talaga yon? You actually miss that?" Being the newbie that I am, he explained to me that you actually miss having someone after a while. It grows on you, and you can’t help it. "Ayoko ng ganun, oh no! I don’t want to be too dependent emotionally." He goes, "Kala mo lang ‘yon."
On our way to Greenbelt, he told me about the book entitled "The Missing Piece" and "The Missing Piece meets the Big O", its continuation. It reiterated the fact that two people can be in a relationship and not lose their identity. The former talks about singlehood and how one should discover himself first. It is about fitting in a world full of complexities.
The latter seems more interesting, I guess. It’s about the missing piece finding someone to have a relationship with. But this time, there seems to be a problem. The missing piece, which is shaped like a triangle can’t seem to roll with the round O. It suggested that he can probably go inside the circle and roll with his partner. Yet it’s not that easy. Big O can’t roll properly, and there are times when the missing piece may grow beyond the round piece. They had a hard time rolling together because the missing piece always wanted to depend on the Big O. It was independent and complete in himself, so he had no problem.
One day, Big O told the Missing Piece to roll on his own. He complained, and asked how that can possible since he had sharp edges as a triangle. The Big O didn’t know what to say. The Missing Piece agreed, no matter how difficult it may take. Later on, he began to have smoothened edges after all his attempts to roll with his partner.
The time finally came when the Missing Piece and the Big O were rolling together, side by side. And they lived happily ever after. :)
Morale of the Story: Having a relationship means growing together, as separate individuals. Besides, co-dependency is not love.
1:05 PM
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Crossing the bridge too soon
Thank you for the reassurance. I apologize if I have so many fears. Hearing about break up stories weakens me, and at the same time, alarms me of what could happen if we don’t strive to make it work. I live in fear, and I hate it. But I’ll do my best to be strong, and to be prepared for the worst while hoping for the best. I know we’ll do whatever it takes to last in this relationship.
It felt good to let it out though. I couldn’t help the tears because I’m afraid of being left by someone I love, again. I’m afraid of what men can do to hurt us. I’m afraid of being abandoned, though I haven’t experienced it yet since you are my first. Nonetheless, I’m extremely frightened of what you can do to me later on. I know about others’ stories and it can also happen to us. I’m sorry if I keep on comparing what they have with ours. I can’t help it. For me, all men are the same, as much as I try to see you differently. I’m so sorry. I’ll try to change. Just give it time.
I’m very grateful for your kind and reassuring words. Thank you for comforting me when I surrendered to my fear of losing you. You give me strength while I sink in all my fears because of all the pain I’ve been through. I hope and pray that if ever the worst comes, we wouldn’t hate each other. I wish we’d remain friends.
I know I’m thinking ahead again. I just want to be realistic. The Cloud 9 stage is temporary. I know relationships take a lot of effort, sacrifice and compromise. And despite all of the hardships, the lighter and happier memories should prevail. And we shouldn’t focus on how we parted ways, and why. The same goes when you lose someone. I’ve learned that one shouldn’t dwell on the day your loved one died. One should dwell on the days he lived.
Right now, I know we both feel bliss. I’m thankful for the time we spend together each day. I only hope and pray that someday we’ll remember the greatness of what we have right now, even after the waves we could go through later on.
Having you still seems implausible, because it’s such an amazing blessing to fathom. A famous writer once said, "The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather, or loved in spite of ourselves."
Believe it or not, I’m still overwhelmed that I’m one of the lucky few who are experiencing the ‘greatest happiness’. And I have you to be thankful for. :)
11:47 AM
Monday, June 06, 2005
nostalgia
My officemate's playing "Here Comes the Hot Stepper" right now. We danced that during 2nd year high school for PE class! Bwahahaha! I can still remember some steps, but I won't even attempt to try it. Hehe it was choreographed by Pally. Hmm I wonder how she is. :)
"Na Na na Na na Na Na na Na na Na na Na na na Naaa"
Sheesh waht a way to start the week! :P
9:48 AM
:-D
Woopeeee! I'm happy ;)
1) It's Friday!
2) I'm slowly becoming less illiterate, and I actually did all the changes in this blog.
3) I saved money this week.
4) There's not much work today.
5) Aerosmith's classic songs are playing in the background.
6) I'm gonna see my friends tonight.
7) I'm gonna be with him tonight too. :)
8) 6 o' clock is just 1 hour and 30 minutes away!
On the other hand, I have LBM. Sheesh. How about my Friday night booze?! jk :)
I'll try to write more decent posts next week. I'm still a bit excited about my blog layout accomplishment!
Adieu! :)
4:30 PM
Friday, June 03, 2005
improving
Hehe I've figured out stuff, finally. Kaya lang ang sagad ng mga nasa side bar, and putol pa. Ugh. Jay Em, paayos pag feel mo :) Eto na ang kinaya ng powers ko today. Nahihilo na ko. Argh sorry.
Thanks, see you!
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Bambi, I got the Carmen Electra VCD too pero hiphop version haha! Okay sya pero feel ko lugi kasi 20 mins lang. Oh well si Carmen Electra kasi instructress. Enjoy your Striptease lessons! ;)
5:10 PM
Thursday, June 02, 2005
html illiterate
Kanina ko pa pinapag-aralan ung mga template ng ibang tao, pero di ko pa rin maintindihan. Ugh ugh Ugh. Links lang ung get ko at iba pa, pero di ko alam saan isisingit ung agboard at kung ano ung exact code ng tagboard na nilikha ni bespren jay em. Ugh this is frustrating. I've been doing this the whole afternoon, while trying to work!
HEEELLLLPPPP!!!!!
3:34 PM
fickle-minded
I'm having problems with my new template.
1) I want to see my post without scrolling too much. The box seems too small for long entries and pictures.
2) The colors and design represent "Jenie-back-in-her-angsty-high-school-i-love-rock-days". I still love rock music, but I'm not that angsty-that's-why-i-love-black anymore.
3) If this is so, JM will kill me because he spent hoursss doing this.
3) I've written less since I had this template. It's because I'm not excited to look and re-read my post after writing them, given the endless scrolling down I have to do.
Sorry bespren Jay Em! Yes I know, I'm malabo and pickel! I'll make you libre next time, promise! hehehe :)
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I vow to write decently after I switch to another template. If only I'd have the time and effort to make my own. Ugh. SLOTH.
12:44 PM
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
