isang kwento matapos ang bagyo
Sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon, nagalit si T dahil inaasar si J nina N at E buong gabi. Nagsimula ito nung nagsuot ng shorts si J at inasar ang kanyang pata. Gumawa pa ng jingle si N at E para magbenta ng 'Hamon' sa Pasko. Tuluy-tuloy na kumakanta at humahalakhak ang dalawa. Napansin ni J na nananahimik na si T. Walang pakialam si J sa pang-aasar ng dalawa dahil sanay na siyang asarin ng mga kaopisinang kalalakihan araw-araw. Kung tutuusin, nakakasakit naman talaga ang mga ganung salita, lalo na sa babae tulad niya. Si J naman, kahit papaano, ay inaaming nasasaktan rin minsan pero walang balak ipakita o ipaalam upang hindi magmukhang mahina. Kahit naman kasi inaasar si J tungkol dun, nananatili pa rin ang kumpiyansa niya sa sarili.
(I'm a little more secure than that.)
Sumunod naman ang isa pang kalokohang naisipan ng dalawa. Ang inspirasyon nito ay ang text messsage na: "Mas mabuti nang maging balat-kalabaw, kaysa maging kutis-b____g." (bahagi ng ari ng lalaki) Nagkapaan ng siko ang mga loko-loko at nagtawanan. Nakikapa naman si J dahil sabog na rin at nakikisakay na lang. Hindi na naman natuwa si T, at may naramdamang kurot o kalabit si J sa likod.
Nagpatuloy na naman ang pagkanta ng dalawa tungkol sa 'Hamon'. Pumunta sa banyo si J at paglabas, nagulantang dahil sa katahimikan. Tumigil sa pagkanta ang dalawa, at seryoso na ang mukha ng bawat isa. Tinanong ni J kung anong nangyari sa kanila. "Nagalit sa 'min si T", sagot ni E. Mukhang alam na ni J kung anong nangyari.
Humingi naman ng paumanhin ang dalawa at sinabing hindi nila sinasadyang makasakit. Eto namang si J, naipit sa gitna dahil bagamat sanay na sya sa lahat ng pang-aasar na ganun, ayaw rin naman nyang balewalain ang pagtatanggol na ginawa para sa kanya ni T. Nakatataba naman talaga ng puso. Hindi lang sanay si J na may nagtatanggol sa kanyang lalaki, lalo na mula sa pang-iinis ng kanyang mga kaibigan sa opisina. Ganun rin kasi talaga sila maglokohan, araw-araw. Siguro napuno lang si T dahil sa 'pambabastos' na naganap habang nandun pa siya. Paano pa nga naman daw kung wala siya? Nag-aalala lang talaga si T para kay J. Nagulat rin siguro siya na ganun na lang kung mag-asaran si J at ang kanyang mga kasambahay.
(It's just one of the downsides of being one of the boys.)
Ngayon, galit pa rin si T. Walang nagawa ang pang-aamo ni J kagabi. Sa katunayan, napagalitan pa nga siya. Hinahayaan raw kasi niyang bastusin na lang ng ganun. Si J naman, nalungkot rin dahil tila parang bato at manhid na nga siya. Hindi rin naman niya masisis si T dahil nakakainis naman talaga pag pinagtutulungan ang kabiyak mo nang ganun.
Umaasa si J na batiin na nya ulit si N at E sa lalong madaling panahon. Nagpapasalamat rin siya dahil siguradong may natutunan namang leksyon ang dalawa, at mag-iisip na bago magsalita. Sana rin ay hindi mag-away si T at J kapag nag-usap mamaya.
Dear T,
Thank you for standing up for me. I didn't mean to become this cold and indifferent, towards myself. But don't worry, now I know better. You get hurt when I am hurting, and you get even more hurt even if I've already become numb. I won't let anyone hurt US again next time.
love, J
4:22 PM
Friday, September 29, 2006
hell or high water
Yesterday, I came back from my longest sick leave of 2 days. After overtime work last Saturday night, I really knew I was coming down with some dreaded sickness maybe out of fatigue, lack of sleep, or whatever bacteria you can acquire from this office building.
True enough, I couldn't sit up without seeing black spots last Sunday. I was still supposed to go to work for overtime again, but I decided to swallow my pride and inform the team that I was sick.
That Sunday was the longest day I've ever stayed in that 'dorm'. My sore throat got from bad to worse and I felt feverish. I was alone and no one could even grab me lunch or buy some orange juice. I just told myself that this is the life I'm gonna have to go through when I opt to work abroad. And so, without any qualms and emo moments, I gathered the strength I have left and went to Waltermart, the nearest commercial center.
My sick ass ate alone, shopped for groceries alone and bought some medicines alone. I couldn't emphasize on the 'alone' part more, but during that time, I was proud of myself for being so independent. I thought to myself, "Hey, it's not that bad! I think I can do this abroad. Besides, I shouldn't be too dependent on other people. We all must learn how to survive alone."
So I tucked myself to sleep in the middle of a scorching afternoon in my upper bunk bed. But everytime I woke up and remember that I'm in that building alone, when I should've been enjoying the perks of having a helper and my Mom's TLC/ having everything you want when you're sick, there I was lying like a rejected potato. I couldn't commute to Laguna, and my brother can only pick me up at night. My mom, apparently, was also frolicking around Baguio at the moment.
Unfortunately, my Makati companion, Tatoff had to go home to Antipolo to finish a super rush racket. I couldn't tell him to ditch that job, because I'm so OC about work and shit, and I wouldn't want him to back out because of me. That, for me, is being just too dependent. Although I wouldn't deny that I gave him some signs that I needed him then. But I guess "I hope you finish your racket,bi. Don't worry too much about me :)" didn't do the trick. Haha. How proud can I get?
Thanks to the Ateneo-UST Game 1, I had something to do aside from sleep and sulk. I had to bang the side of the 14" ancient TV in the room, and finally had something to lift my spirits up. After the game, Tatoff visited me, but I was already too moody and vulnerable that I ended up telling him that he couldn't care less about me. Of course that was very wrong to say since he just volunteered to bring me to our far away Sta. Rosa house at night, even if he hasn't finished the racket due the next day.
As usual, my Type A personality got even more pissed because how could he volunteer to go to Laguna and back, when he's not even halfway done with the project? I don't know why I act that way, but it's just the way it is. I can really be a ruthless, mind-over-matter dork.
It was my first time to finish an argument (or a sentence) with the word "multi-task" before slamming the car door. I felt even worse, but I know it's better for me to walk out than fight with him some more. I was too weak anyway, and my throat hurts like hell. He got back 30 minutes after, and after another emo talk, I got even more depressed knowing that I'm leaving for Laguna that night and I won't see him until I get well. I guess it was my PMS kicking in.
Monday and Tuesday were spent lying around, texting officemates in the morning, forcing myself to sneeze so i can breathe, blowing my nose to beat the Guiness record, drinking liters of juice, sleeping, visiting a stupid clinic, discovering I had allergic rhinitis since birth, taking 4 kinds of antibiotics, watching Nip/Tuck, reading a book/ witnessing a miracle, bugging Tatoff, texting missed friends and being the same old sick brat. Believe it or not, it was also the longest time I stayed in that new house. I guess only sickness will force me to stay put.
I'm still sneezing like a coyote and phlegm is still my aloof enemy, but here I am. I just braved calf-high floods in front of our dorm via a reliable pedicab, and managed not to let go of my umbrella and my tissue box while striding along Pasong Tamo and Rufino. You see, I'd rather stay here than be stuck in my upper bunk bed with my roommates. I don't have anything against them, but I'm just not the mingling type when I'm there. Not at all. I felt like a workomaniac this morning just seeing them put off work because it's flooded outside. I can't tell that to my boss! I can't tell that to myself either.
So there, hopefully this schmuck overproduction of mucus ends soon. I just realized that I can't binge on alcohol this coming Saturday! What a loser. But alcohol is medicine! Haha. Oh well, I'm just glad this week's almost over. There's still so much work, but what can I do? Bumming is even more depressing for me. We all got to save some money and gain some job experience, right? That is the quarter-life plan. So even if overworked and underpaid, this ass is stuck in this office by obligation - come hell or high water, literally.
9:32 AM
Thursday, September 28, 2006
rant and raise
I'm tired.
Just when I thought I could rest this weekend, we were told that we have to work overtime this weekend. And I’m not only talking about the first half of Saturday. I’m saying goodbye to my DVD marathon this Saturday afternoon and to my siesta this Sunday. Damn.
We had to choose between this week or the next. But after volunteering/ not having a choice because it’s my co-writer’s birthday this Sunday, I found out that next weekend’s OT is still tentative. Ugggghhh. (Hoy nakakarami ka na ah, kaka-vacation leave mo lang! Pag hindi natuloy yung OT nyo next weekend, maghahalo ang balat sa tinalupan! Hehehe.)
But anyway, I really wouldn’t mind brainstorming this weekend if we were complete. It’s my boss’ birthday today and he can’t join us. I really hope Mr. Art Director doesn’t get on my nerves and participate actively this time. And I really hope I get Overtime pay from those all-nighters, and not just free dinner and taxi fare. I feel so underpaid I can’t even afford a decent apartment.
I want a raise.
4:09 PM
Friday, September 22, 2006
19 @ 20
It's our 19th month!
Let's drink to that. :-)
8:40 PM
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
biyernes na. alleluia.
Isusulat ko pa lang sana ang isa na namang mareklamong artikulong ito ukol sa aking kumikirot sa sakit na ulo.
Ibubuhos ko na sana ang aking pagkainis dahil sa sangkatutak na name studies na paulit-ulit at mga AE na kung hindi makulit ay magulo pa sa tumpok ng abaka kausap.
Irereklamo ko sana ang aking matinding pagnanasa sa pagtatapos ng araw at ng linggong ito, dahil naisip ko na kahit na gusto ko ng maraming ginagawa, tao lang rin ako at napapagod at nahihilo sa kakaisip at kakagawa ng pangalan para sa kung anu-anong produktong ikayayaman ng iba't-ibang angkan.
At habang dumaraing ako dahil sa kumakalam na sikmurang nangangalabit para malapatan ng masarap na merienda, bigla na lang may sumulpot sa aking harapan. Tila hulog ng langit ang styrofoam ng Delifrance na may lamang kalahating tri-level chicken sandwich! Nanlaki ang aking mga mata at bagamat mukhang inabandona lamang ng isang babaeng nagpapaliit ng baywang, agad kong kinagatan ang sandwich, ipinakagat sa iba, tinanggal ang mangga at basang tinapay, at matapos ng huling lunok at lagok ng malamig na libreng tubig mula sa opisina ay sinabing, "Thank you, God!"
Maraming Salamat talaga dahil Biyernes na.
4:47 PM
Friday, September 15, 2006
the cynic strikes again!
I hate credit cards. Especially the agents who call and bug you to sign up for another one, and another one, and another one! This month, about 8 banks already offered me and fooled me with their “Isa po kayo sa mga maswerteng napiling makatanggap ng card!” spiel. Stop disturbing my name-studies-brainwrithing to dictate my f**** permanent address and my mom’s maiden name! Not everyone with a uterus and works in advertising wants to hoard all the unnecessary consumer goods in the mall!
Okay, off to more peaceful things. Aja e-mailed! Weee! I’m happy and sad at the same time though. She’ll be celebrating her first birthday in Indonesia this weekend. Too bad I can’t see her on that day. I can’t believe Gelo turned down her Dad’s offer to shell out half of the fare to go there, then join the family to Bali! Why are some men married to their pride?
I’m starting to be hostile again. One more try.
It’s supposed to be my close friend’s civil wedding this afternoon. I was really so excited since last night, and I was ready to sneak out of the office to be their cam whore. But no, when I woke up, her fiancé told me that they might have to move city halls. It turns out that some corrupt guy from the city hall is asking for 4k to wed them, when it’s supposed to be for free! What a schmuck. I feel bad for them because they need to be wed before the guy goes back to the U.S. this weekend. Ugh.
Okay, strike 3! Last try.
I was happy to receive a call from Tatoff after lunch a while ago. We seldom call each other on the cellphone since we’re both frugal, so when he does that to check on me, I really appreciate it. He was worried when I told him that it saddens me that Aja and I won’t see each other on her birthday, and I can’t even give her a gift personally. He was also concerned when he found out that two callers already asked me about the expiry date of my credit card. Good thing I remembered his advice and stopped my hypnotized self from disclosing that info. Again, thanks for your concern. I’ll be okay. I’m just in cynical mode because I haven’t had enough time to sleep, to box, and to be with you - all because of work. I’m so tempted to go to Greenbelt to buy a gift right now. All bosses are out, but no, I’m such a dork who’d rather widen my child-bearing hips because of my Office Withdrawal Syndrome.
But wait, there's more!
I'm being possessed by the Nomad spirits again. I want to move out of the 'dorm' because there are 6 of us in the room already! Sheesh. I know I'm just there to sleep, but that's obviously the reason why I go home late. And for Christ's sake, I'm the only one who doesn't understand Bisaya! I hate it! Nonetheless, I'm still thinking if I'd swallow my pride and ask for my Mom's help for monthly dues. I wouldn't have to rent if she got a house that's accessible to Makati anyway. So unfair. I really want to stay in the new house, but Sta. Rosa is just too farrrr. So tonight, I'll be browsing through the pages of Buy & Sell, because tomorrow, the apartment hunt resumes! May God bless this lowly nomad once more.
3:40 PM
Thursday, September 14, 2006
yin & yang
It's only Wednesday, but this week is going too slow at work. My co-writer EJ is on leave the entire week, for the first time. I already went overtime last Monday, when I'm supposed to catch some sleep after all the weekend wastedness. I have a truckload of schmuck name studies to finish and it doesn't help knowing that one set costs more than what I earn per month. I also feel bloated from all the binging - on food and alcohol - the past few days, but I haven't found time and energy to work out.
Nonetheless, I'm quite in a jolly mood. I guess the crazy and defiant Canyon Woods trip with his friends still have a happy-happy-joy-joy hangover on me. Looking at the photos every now and then help relieve stress and boredom from thinking of what to name this gadget, or that nincompoop of a scratch card promo. Here are some of the not so incriminating ones.
Lamon at Leslie's c/o Joel!
As the head of the Narcotics Committee, I'm glad my patients were highly satisfied :)
The 2nd Gran Matador Challenge.Guy had to drink 1 full glass, to smoothen things out with Girl. Too bad it didn't work for this couple this time :(
Half of the drunken SBMA barkada, the last photo I took before passing out. Thanks to around 10 glasses of Gin-Sprite and delicious greens.
Goodbye beautiful house!
The hangover cure? Frozen choco at Bag O' Beans c/o Tatoy :)
Hanggang sa muling paglalasing. SBMA, Great at 8! haha :-)
10:07 AM
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
getting older and getting hitched
Yes, you guessed it right. That title is not referring to me at all haha. My birthday is not until next year and my marriage is not until I become a “normal” woman ready for some domesticated genes. And of course, not until our relationship reaches that stage!
My close high school friend’s having a civil wedding next week! Her fiancé who’s based in the US arrived last week to help her prepare for the church wedding next January. They’ve been attending seminars left and right and they even went to a 3-day Couples Retreat! Time really flies and I’m still freaked out because she’s tying the knot and migrating SOON! It’s really amazing what love can do.
I was teasing her if she’s really sure about this, and I reminded her not to forget her ‘make a difference in the world’ goal since we were in school. She’s one of the few people who would really go out of their way to help the poor or exert effort for a cause. That’s why with her upcoming marriage, I started to think that the endangered world’s rescuers will be down by one. But her reply made me think otherwise,
“Di na ko nag-iisa sa mga pangarap na yun :-)”
Aawww… I never thought of it that way! Good luck my friend, I’m so happy for you! :-)
Last weekend, I harassed myself with a self-imposed project and exhausted some of the stagnant craft skills I have left. This is also my way of not spending too much for a wonderful gift yet still be able to send the message.
And so, I made Jenie's lamp:
For my birthday boy:
And gave it to him after having our most expensive dinner to date at Italianni’s:
After 24 hours together, 4 surprise gifts and zero fights, he told me it was the happiest birthday celebration he had in 25 years! That’s definitely worth 10 hours of sweat and (almost) tears after all.
Sheng ri kuai le, wo de nan peng you! Wo ai ni :-)
4:43 PM
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Lamon at Leslie's c/o Joel!
As the head of the Narcotics Committee, I'm glad my patients were highly satisfied :)
The 2nd Gran Matador Challenge.Guy had to drink 1 full glass, to smoothen things out with Girl. Too bad it didn't work for this couple this time :(
Half of the drunken SBMA barkada, the last photo I took before passing out. Thanks to around 10 glasses of Gin-Sprite and delicious greens.
Goodbye beautiful house!
The hangover cure? Frozen choco at Bag O' Beans c/o Tatoy :)
