brat rant on a wednesday night
I think I've lost my drive and drained all my energy in getting pissed at work almost everyday. I'm still here at the office after such a hectic day. It's 9:30 PM and for the past 2 hours, I've been waiting for Accounts to tell me all the revisions and comments, so I can work a couple more hours. Whataf*^$@@#!life.
Anyway, my colleagues and I have been ranting about a very ---- person who kept throwing tantrums here today. I can't believe some people can be such fault-finders and naggers at the same time. I know this blog has been my sound board in the duration of my stay here in Singapore, but really, what can I do? I need to write to let it out. There's no point shouting and bitching, unlike some adults. But at least the more pleasant memories of my stay here are in my photos in Multiply.
Oh, I just marked my 12th hour in this office. I'm so exhausted but I have no choice but to work once my boss arrives. My Lord, what did I get myself into? Well, I saw this coming. Really. But I went for it anyway. Goal schmoal. Sometimes I wish I can be bum and be spoiled by my Mom, just like how she likes it. She just told me that when I left, she didn't know how to start her life again. Wow. That's scary. I don't like it when people say that to me. I'm so PRO-independence that it freaks me out at times. Ever since I've experienced the death of my immediate family members, I just lost the concept of being needy or attached to someone. Well, I take that back whenever I miss Tatoff like anything. Don't get me wrong, I miss my Mom too. And I will jump on the next flight once something happens to her back home. But then again, a Mom will always be a Mom and will always treat me like a child. And I hate that. If I have to suffer or fail, then I will. Because that's how I'll learn to fly. It just really annoys me when I appear like the 'person who LEFT her single mom and boyfriend' for her career, or for money to put it bluntly. Because look at me here. It's not like I'm having a ball, but I still remain grateful for this blessing. Nonetheless, no day has passed when I didn't feel lonely or when I didn't doubt myself if I made the right decision.
Anyway, enough of this rambling. The boss called and said we waited for nothing. The client didn't reply at all. Wow it must really be my lucky day. They want to go for a drink but once again, I'm not in the mood. It only happens here, you see. I'm a changed woman. I'm just scared if I drown my sorrows in alcohol, then I'll be starting Singapore's Alcoholics Anonymous soon. If there isn't one. I really don't want to know.
EDIT at 10:10 PM - It turns out I can't go home yet. We're still waiting for the client to get back for revisions. Okay, I guess I'll have to reconsider that AA idea. But it won't be a rehab. It will be a bar. The Alcoholics Anonymous Bar.
F**#$@&!?!&# work.
9:19 PM
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
happy happy joy joy day! :)
It's 4:30 in the afternoon and I just ate lunch because of a crammed pitch. I still have some more work to do but then I won't let these things ruin my day. I'm happy! Why? Because it's padala day! :-)
My ex-officemate from Saatchi just arrived Singapore and I found out that my Design teammates sent me some stuff from home! Weee they're so sweet, I swear :) I was chatting with one of them via YM and she said there were supposed to be more gifts, but then my ex-officemate told them to cut it down since it's too much for his luggage. Aawww. Haha. I wonder what they sent me! I'm so excited, some people might think I'm too shallow. But no, I'm just really grateful for every blessing that comes my way. Last month has been quite mellodramatic for me, so I'm just taking each day as it comes and embracing the sunshine. Haha, pardon me, I'm on PMS.
Anyway, another thing that makes me so giddy today is another package from home. And it came from my wonderful Tatoy! Weeee! I got a call from the DHL guy since no one's in the condo so he put it in the letterbox instead. Weee I can't wait to go home! I can't help but be touched because it's the first time I got a package from home and from him, and it's also our 26th monthsary today :-)
Happy 26th month, bi! :-) Thanks so much for the gift! I hope you liked mine too ;-)
Thanks for the love, strength and the faith you've put into this relationship. Hang in there, we'll be together soon. I miss you so much.
lovingly yours, happy happy jenie :-)
4:28 PM
Friday, April 20, 2007
bagong batas
Isa sa mga natutunan ko sa halos dalawang buwan pa lang ng pagtatrabaho dito sa Singapore: Bawal kumain hanggang hindi tumatawag ang kliyente para i-approve ang ad.
Pakshiyeeet na malagkeet. Gutom na ko noh! Akala ko nung mga unang beses na nag-overtime kami, wala lang talagang gutom sa kanila. Pero ngayong gabi, tinanong ko kung pwede muna kong kumain habang naghihintay sa kliyenteng pabago-bago ang isip. Tapos sabi ng kasama ko, hindi pwede. Mag-order na lang daw ako ng pagkain at magpadala sa opisina. Wow. Ayos ah. Kumukulo na tyan ko kakatrabaho noh! Pero ganyan talaga ang buhay. Sulit naman kahit papano pag sumuweldo na. Pero kahit na noh, may karapatang pantao pa rin naman akong hindi nabibili ng pera. Bwahahaha whatdafuck.
Yun lang, gusto ko lang magreklamo. Lokohin mo na ang madaldal na lasing, wag lang ang pagod at kumakalam ang tiyan.
8:40 PM
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
on House and missing home
I just finished watching the 2nd Season of House last Saturday. I took the risk of bringing 'those DVD's' here because I know doing the opposite will make me a newborn infant struggling and shrieking for her bottle of milk, or her mom's left breast. I swear, when the the DVD ended, I couldn't believe it. I went to the Menu and checked if I've really watched all the episodes. I should've bought Season 3 at MCS before I left!!! Darn it, I miss that place. This is what happens when our own home doesn't have a TV yet, and cable for that matter. I heard you have to subscribe and pay for each channel. Whatdaf*^&%#?!
So, I just finished reading some episode summaries over the Net. That's how desperate I am to know what happened next! It's too bad no one can bring me a a DVD of Season 3. My very thoughtful and understanding friend EJ tried to send me one by asking our ex-officemate who's visiting SG this week, but to no avail. It turns out the guy's paranoid about bringing in one DVD. But why?!?! That's House! Hahaha. I've become a sicko. I hate how I can't watch that season til I visit home, or when someone 'brave and not anal enough' can send me once they visit Singapore. If you only know how many of those things I got in, you will grant me the "Most Daring and Pasaway OFW ever" award in a heartbeat.
Anyway, my neck is still hanging on my seat for those succeeding episodes. That TV series has been my refuge in this quite cold place, and now it's over. Waaah! I like House. His sarcasm and misery appeal to me a lot. It's more real and down to earth. I've began watching Grey's Anatomy for the first time, but it's not the same! Grey's too mushy for me and the characters lack that higher level of gloominess that only House can personify. Haha. I think I have this thing for 'lonely and complicated' men. Hahahaha, whatever.
So there, I admit I'm addicted to it, just like how he's addicted to Vicodin. I haven't drank alcohol in weeks but I think House can take its place,at least for the meantime. Waaahhhh I wanna go home!!! Just to buy those DVD's then go back here, I mean. Then spend time with Tatoff, eat my Mom's dishes, drink and get drunk with wonderful friends, hit the beach, shop for more affordable clothes, ok I'll stop now...
3:07 PM
Monday, April 16, 2007
fiery sex-y ads
All credits from adsoftheworld.com
Does sex sell, or smell? (Sorry they rhyme haha!) You be the judge. But for me, here are the most fierce and impactful ones. All about AIDS awareness. Enjoy!
Freaky!
Nice ass haha. But the message maybe a bit questionable.
Grabe daring! And great art direction and FA.
Mga pugot ang ulo pero horny pa rin haha!
Copy of the ad goes something like "Don't lose your head. Use a condom."
The bravest of them all! Copy: "Aids doesn't concern you?"
A million more sex-y ads at jeniegab.multiply.com or www.adsoftheworld.com if you have time to search and collate like me ;) Happy Friday free-day the 13th!
3:56 PM
Friday, April 13, 2007
malupit na hagupit
Simula ngayon, ang lahat ng mga reklamo tungkol sa trabaho ay isusulat ko sa ating sariling wika. Nalaman kasi ng isa kong kaopisina ang blog na ito dahil ginamit ko ang laptop nya nung unang linggo ko sa trabaho, at naaalala ito ng browser.
Tama na ang paligoy-ligoy, sisimulan ko na. Simula ng nakaraang linggo, mayroon akong sinusulat para sa isang ad na medyo kumplikado ang isyu. Tungkol ito sa pagbababawas ng isang lalagyang ginagamit natin sa pamimili. Maraming pasikut-sikot ang dinaanan namin bago matumbok ang gustong sabihin ng kliyente. Bawat bosing nalilito na rin at ako, isang hamak na empleyadong kelangan magsulat ng lahat ng sabihin nila, ay naiwang tulala na lang at puro sabaw na ang utak. Pabago-bago ang isip ng bawat isa. At lahat sila, ako ang kinukulit at binibigyan ng sakit ng ulo. Ganun ata talaga pag ikaw ang pinakabata at mas mababa ang posisyon. Sa totoo lang, sa sobrang dami ng pagbabagong pinapagawa para sa lintik na dalawang talatang kopya na yun, malapit ko na syang isali sa Guiness Book of World Records. Naka-labing isang ulit lang naman kami. Ganun kalupit. Kagabi ko lang naranasan ang matinding pagkasabaw ng utak habang kung sinu-sinong nagdidikta sa 'kin kung anong gagawin. Litong-lito at inis na inis na ko kasi isang napakadali sanang bagay ay nagiging kumplikado dahil lahat ng tao ay nagmamarunong at ang kliyente naman, hindi rin alam kung anong gusto nyang gawin. Kakaibang lahi sila, yun lang ang masasabi ko. Pero alam kong ang karanasang ito ay makakatulong sa pagpapatibay ng aking pagkatao. Natuto kong magtimpi kahit na hindi na talaga nakakatuwa ang nangyayari. Ni hindi ako nagpakita ng emosyon o pagkainis kahit na ilang beses na nila kong pinapaikot-ikot na parang trumpo. Sila ang dapat nag-uusap pero ako ang naiipit sa gitna. Para na nga kong robot na sulat na lang ng sulat kung ano mang sabihin nila, pero ang problema nga, magkakasalungat ang sinasabi ng bawat isa. Isang mensahe, isang libong interpretasyon. At ako ang sumasalo ng isang libong yun at kailangan kong malaman kung sino talaga ang susundin para matapos na ang punyetang ad na yun.
Umuwi akong kumikirot ang ulo ng alas-onse kagabi, pero mukhang hindi pa rin tapos ang laban. Hangad ko ay sumuko na ang kliyente nang makauwi naman ako nang maaga at makapag-boksing. Yun na nga lang ang nagpapasaya sa 'kin dito. Kasama ng sweldo kada buwan. Ang sweldong yun LANG ang nagtulak sa aking maging pasensyosa kagabi. Yun lang ang nagtulak sa 'king magtiis na para maging parang asong hinahabol ang sariling buntot at tuloy-tuloy na paikot-ikot na parang ulol. Iba talaga ang nagagawa ng pera. Pero minsan, napapagod na kong isipin na yun nga ang pinakamatinding dahilan kung bakit ako nagtitiis at kung bakit iniwan ko ang Pinas. Hindi naman talaga ako mukhang pera. Sa katunayan, isa ako sa mga pinaka-kuripot na taong nakilala ko. Haha. Pero totoo, hindi ako kasing luho ng iba. Sa katunayan, kinukuripot akong bumili ng bentilador para sa kwarto ko kahit kailangan ko. Hindi ko nga maintindihan kung bakit.
Yan lang muna ang masasabi ko. Nararamdaman ko na ang kaibahan ng pagtatrabaho dito. Iba ang sipag at dedikasyon nila at minsan mo lang maririnig magreklamo. Sila ang mga tipong sinasanto ang trabaho dahil ito ang nagbibigay sa kanila ng marangyang buhay. Kanya-kanya lang siguro talaga ng pakay yan. Sa Pilipinas, mas importante ang pagkakaroon ng oras para sa mga mahal sa buhay o pagkakaroon ng mahal sa buhay. Karamihan daw kasi ng mga tao dito ay hindi na nag-aasawa o nagkaka-anak dahil sa kakatrabaho. Dito, mas importante ang trabahong magbibigay ng pera para sa isang marangyang buhay. Hindi rin natin sila masisisi dahil pinalaki silang ganun at sa taas ng mga bilihin at taxes dito, kung gusto mong magkaroon ng komportableng buhay, kailangan mong kumayod at magbanat ng buto nang todo.
Masasabi kong mas kakayanin ko pa ang tambak na trabaho, pero para sa akin, hindi ito sapat para maibsan ang kalungkutan ko dito. Bago pa lang ako at kakaunti pa lang ang kakilala. Hindi pa sila mahilig lumabas o gumimik dahil siguro gusto rin nilang magpahinga na lang sa bahay pag may pagkakataon. Akala ko nung una, basta maraming trabaho, hindi na ko mapapaisip o hindi ko na maaalala ang tahanang iniwan ko. Hindi rin pala. Kabaligtaran pa nga minsan ang nangyayari.
O sya, tama na ang kadramahang ito. Kailangang tigilan na lang ang pagrereklamo at harapin ang sitwasyon. Magpasalamat pa nga dapat ako dahil nabigyan ako ng ganitong pagkakataon. Napakaraming Pilipino ang gustong makapagtrabaho dito. Pera lang rin ang pinaka-unang dahilan. Ngunit para sa isang tulad kong hindi naman maluho, walang asawa, at walang binubuhay na anak o pamilya, minsan napakahirap itatak sa kukute ko na iyon ang ang nagdala at magpapatagal sa akin dito. Para sa 'kin, isa lang itong matinding pagsubok na kailangan kong malampasan para patunayan sa sarili kong kaya kong gawin ang kinatatakutan ko, at kaya kong tumayo sa sarili kong mga paa kahit mag-isa. Pero sa totoo lang, ilang araw nang nanghihina ang tuhod ko.
9:57 AM
Thursday, April 12, 2007
mother knows beast
As I write this entry, my Mom will be on a plane going back to the Philippines. The past week was wonderful, save for some days where my inner beast just can't help but get out of its cage. I've been a bit cranky while my Mom's here but I tried to make up for it as much as I can. I don't know why but she just knows how to annoy me like anything then make me laugh the next minute. I also felt a bit guilty not spending more time with her when I could have. It was even my other boss who gave me the idea of taking the day off when someone from the family is visiting. That same day, I left work a bit early to meet up with her. But the same night, I got word from my officemates that The Boss was looking for me because of a deadline. I freaked out for quite some time and apologized the next day. It was a wake up call for me too, and I realized that I should throw in more effort if I don't want to get thrown out.
My Mom is the soundboard of all my rants in life. From all my teenage angst up to my recent quarter life crisis, she doesn't fail to give me the most practical advice. Last week, I was so mad at someone just for being his usual self, and all she could say was, "Sometimes we must learn to love the unlovable." That's true, but quite an ordeal if you ask me. Especially when all I could think of is violence especially when I'm furious. When I get extremely angry at someone, I imagine punching him in the face and beating him up until he's begging me to stop. My Mom's a bit worried about my hostility because I accidentally told her that I actually punch the wall when pissed. Little did she know that the last time I did that, she was actually the reason.
Anyway, my mother, the supernumerary (Opus Dei devotee, but married), managed to bring me to an Opus Dei center here in Singapore. I swear, they're everywhere! And it's even near the condo so I guess my Mom will be expecting me to visit often. Come on!?!? But you know hanging around with those women actually make me feel so prim and proper, as if I can't even break a beer bottle. Hehe. I, with my own free will and full consent, even went to confession just to make my Mom feel better, and well, heal my sick soul, as she said. She's been bugging me for a year, so I thought why not be nice to her since she's visiting me anyway. Besides, there's the only analogy that convinced me to go was the one mentioned by the priest in KL during my first visit. Most of us don't believe in confession because we have a tendency to repeat the same sins. But he said, "If you know you're going to get dirty after taking a bath, does that mean you're NEVER going to bathe?" Or something like that. But really, it makes sense. I almost stopped believing in that sacrament but when I stepped on Holy Land (Opus Dei Center), I felt this angelic vibe in me. Haha. So there I was, knees shaking, jaw trembling and with butterflies in my stomach. I swear, I'm the most sinful person there. I was expecting an adamant priest, but good thing he wasn't. In fact, he was a bit stoic but it's absolutely okay! The first time I convinced Tatoff to go to confession with me after 1 million years of not going, the Italian priest actually screamed at him in anger. The sin? He shouted at his Mom during a fight. Eye for an eye, huh?
After some soul-cleansing and searching with her help during the 3-day weekend, I must admit I felt better. But I can't deny the fact that I'm not going to commit those sins again. I'll try but I can't promise. It's so hard when there are too much rules imposed on you. Freedom becomes so taboo, even as you grow older. At work, I have to do this and not do that. At home, I have to take note of some house rules. When I'm outside, I always have to be vigilant because this country's too orderly to be true and my OFW butt can't afford to be kicked out. And wherever I go, all my actions and words must be according to a book called the Bible or based on the Examination of Conscience where all possible since are found. Where is freedom in that? But I remember in Philo class that all these rules apply to us, because we were created free - free to choose to do what is right. But then what if THEY actually choose what's right or wrong for us? it doesn't make sense, right? Oh crap, I'm debating with myself. But for some reason, my Mom knows how to answer me when I have these pilosopo questions, and she never really took up Philosophy. She's just naturally religious and have a faith sturdier than Petronas Towers.
Oh and one more newsflash about her. I think she's considering moving here someday to do boost her business. She wants to tap the market here, and there are good signs that it will do well. At first, I was pissed at that idea. I looked for a job abroad to seek independence alone. But then it would be very selfish if I stop my Mom from finding business here, and of course, the chance to be with me during her senior years. After confession last Black Saturday, I just forgot about that angst all of a sudden. And I've been carrying that since I was in college! Haha. I must really be getting old and 'mature'. I just thought this whole work-abroad-and-save-money-to-repay-my-Mom thing contradicts itself if I don't even want to spend time with her. Maybe there's a compromise somewhere out there that can help us reach a win-win situation. Meanwhile, I have to make the most of my alone time and work on my non-existent homemaking skills.
Lastly, I plan to visit home in July. While I was depressed last week, I booked myself some plane tickets.I didn't care if I wasn't a regular employee then, I just wanted to see my loved ones. Later I realized that I should not risk my job for a quick visit at home. My Mom used his "bahala ka" psychology again and convinced me to rebook in an instant. How can I be so stupid and impulsive? Well, apparently that's what homesickness can do.
In a month, my disposition has changed from "Yey I'm alone and independent" to "Shit,what's all this for when your lovedones aren't around?". Before her flight, my Mom kept reminding me to focus on the big goal and don't let setbacks ruin the plan. And of course, to have faith in Him and keep praying especially when I'm lonely, and never be afraid of anything.
Well what can I say? I missed my Mom's nagging. Even if I always shrug them off or tell her to stop blabbing, her words and sermons actually stick and I try to live by them as much as I can. In fact, I remember even the smallest reminders as "don't take a bath right away after working out" and the more serious ones like "when you love someone, there shouldn't be if's or but's". Mothers really know what's good for most of us, even if they can give you a nagging headache trying to prove it sometimes. But I guess they know best when they know their own not-so-little, immature beast inside out.
Mommy and the beast waiting for the Safari bus last Black Saturday. We got left behind because I didn't listen to her :S
See you again soon, Inay Bayani! (the pet name that suits her most)
I'll miss you!!! :)
2:13 PM
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Maderdear's coming!
My mom's arriving tonight. She's spending Holy Week here in Singapore. And I thought I can get away all the rituals for the first time. But seriously, I don't mind praying a lot on Good Friday. It's the only holiday we got here since only a small chunk of the population are Catholics. Mostly Pinoys, as usual.
Anyway, I told her to bring my remaining clothes and room stuff. I left so much since I didn't want to waste money on overload or a balikbayan box. I'm too kuripot so I'd rather sacrifice some vanities or attachments. But maybe it doesn't really matter if I haul my entire Pinas room to the new one here. I'd still keep missing home and my friends and loved ones no matter how much of it I try to bring in Singapore.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to spending time with my Mom even if I'm sure she'll be all melancholic again when she leaves. I'm just happy I have something to look forward to today. When I left the Philippines, I realized that having something to look forward to everyday is what keeps me going. Taking it one day at a time helps a lot too. I'm like a prisoner staring at the calendar, marking the days I've been here and hoping when I can take a break and alight from this bus called SG. Although if I'm all hung up on visiting the Philippines, I'll be so distracted at work. Like now! I can't focus on writing ads! I've been checking promos online, and thanks to my stupid credit card, I missed the cheapest fare of the Cebu Pacific promo last Friday. Now I'm left with the more pricey ones and I might just give Tiger Airways a shot even if the airport's at the other end of Laguna. Obviously, I'm not using my hard-earned salary to sit in PAL for 3 hours. I can take a ferry for all I care, if there is any. I just want to visit home and recharge my spirit.
Thanks to my Mom for bringing a huge piece of home when she arrives tonight - herself! Moms are walking homes, with sermons and all. Hehe. Welcome back to my new home, Ma! I missed you!
At the NAIA airport last Feb. 27, 2007
4:27 PM
Monday, April 02, 2007
Grabe daring! And great art direction and FA.
Mga pugot ang ulo pero horny pa rin haha!
Copy of the ad goes something like "Don't lose your head. Use a condom." 
The bravest of them all! Copy: "Aids doesn't concern you?"
Mommy and the beast waiting for the Safari bus last Black Saturday. We got left behind because I didn't listen to her :S
At the NAIA airport last Feb. 27, 2007
