Welcome to the jungle!
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meet the predator
call me jenie
born on 02/20/83 after my Dad & Mom drank beer and ate balut 9 months before
lives in Singapore, but always a Pinoy at heart
works as an advertising copywriter, but hates proofreading her blog entries
loves true friends, fake DVD's, alternative music, alcohol, sarcasm, boxing, hatha yoga, and House (the TV series,not the music genre)
loathes indifference, power trippers, narcissists, giant egos and bad breath
tries to live by the quote "Postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing." by Anais Nin
should we stay or should we go?
I've been trying to detach myself from the current political bull but it's quite difficult. I'm part of the underpaid workforce now, and the withholding tax from my deduction slip numbs my senses every month. I can't help but think of possible opportunities outside this mellodramatic country. At the same time, I fail to overcome my attachment to this place I called 'home', despite the love-hate relationship I've been going through lately.
I'm not attached to any house, or to anything in particular. But I'd say I'm very much attached to relationships and friendships I've built through the years. I've only experience leaving this country once, and man, was it torturous not knowing anyone in a horrible boring foreign land. And I only stayed there for 2 weeks!
During the weekend, I had this conversation with my Mom and how she's open to leaving the country if the situation doesn't get any better. She's having a hard time as well, since people aren't confident to invest their money on property with the present economic turmoil. We have no relatives in the US, but a friend from there told her that all she or we have to do is get there, and he'll take care of EVERYTHING. (I think he owes my Mom a lot because she helped him with his MBA thesis before.)
Though the idea got my Mom excited, I had bittersweet feelings about it. As much as I want to earn and save up for the future, I still got to figure out if it's worth all the loneliness. I'd say "No." Maybe not yet. I've never dreamt of going to that country anyway. I still hold the notion that we don't live to work. As much as I can, I'd rather avoid all the stress that may lead to my early demise.
I guess I'd consider a country that's not too far away from here. At least there might be less discrimination or apathy. And it's much easier to go back home on special occasions.
I don't know why but the thought of leaving makes me queasy inspite it's practicality factor. Is it an escape? a wise decision? or THE only solution? I do think so.
If I wrote this almost 5 months ago, I'd be elated to escape this abyss with my Mom.
But things are different now.
I can't leave just like that.
12:36 PM
Monday, July 11, 2005
