Welcome to the jungle!
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meet the predator
call me jenie
born on 02/20/83 after my Dad & Mom drank beer and ate balut 9 months before
lives in Singapore, but always a Pinoy at heart
works as an advertising copywriter, but hates proofreading her blog entries
loves true friends, fake DVD's, alternative music, alcohol, sarcasm, boxing, hatha yoga, and House (the TV series,not the music genre)
loathes indifference, power trippers, narcissists, giant egos and bad breath
tries to live by the quote "Postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing." by Anais Nin
on marriage, my mother and that most awaited long weekend
Haay I want to go to the beach badly. Ugh this sucks. My mom has no plans and I've been doing all the planning but it seems like she's too lazy to go. Hassle. As if she'll allow Tatoff & I to go on our own. Argh. And I thought I can do anything once I'm making my own money. But I guess I'm still tied up to her womb because I'm living with her, and I don't pay for the condo's rent. Darn it. I still can't afford it, okay. And even if I do, I still won't be allowed to have my own place because I HAVE/NEED to accompany her. That's just the way it goes.
Okay, why am I ranting about my inevitable life dilemmas again? I can go on rantin about this everyday, and it wouldn't change a thing. Well, except if my mom marries again. Hmm that's even a more complicated state. I mean, we'd have o deal with the man's family and all, and my brother and titos will get so overprotective of their eldest sister. Sheesh. What am I thinking? As if. I've talked to my Mom about this and it seems like she really doesn't have plans. She just can't imagine herself being with another man, aside from my father. She's still his first and last, man. Wow. Amazing.
Watching "Corpse Bride" last night got me thinking about the immortality of marriage. Yes, two people are only bound by the so-called life. When the other dies, he is allowed to 'love' again and have another commitment. I thought about my Mom and Dad and realized that only my Dad's marriage to my Mom has dissolved, but not the other way around. Until now, my Mom is still married to my Dad and is the only man he loved/loves.
For some reason, the movie justified my some of my doubts on marriage primarily because it wasn't portrayed as solemn and as religious as I've learned it to be. In the movie, marriage is just about saying your vows and putting the ring on someone's finger. That's just not how it works for me, that's why it's appears to be intimidating. For me, marriage is a big obstacle course you enter once you've made your vows and put the ring on your partner. It is a commitment to plan your life 'together'. No more selfish ways, no more total independence, no more childishness, no more room for character mistakes. It is not a means to be secure about yourself and your future too. For me, it is not a requirement in life. It is only part of the culture's pressures and conformist ways.
On the other hand, marriage is a union of two souls. Waking up and coming home to your beloved, as if you were the only people on earth are blessings no one can deny. You build a family, have offspring to leave as your legacy. They say that's the most important part of it all, but that calls for another entry.
Writing mush about marriage is too hard to handle already. I'm still obsessed about my singlehood, and I choose to be obsessed for the next 5 years. So help me God. Thy will be done.
But please juxtapose your will with mine. :-D
4:40 PM
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
