Welcome to the jungle!
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meet the predator
call me jenie
born on 02/20/83 after my Dad & Mom drank beer and ate balut 9 months before
lives in Singapore, but always a Pinoy at heart
works as an advertising copywriter, but hates proofreading her blog entries
loves true friends, fake DVD's, alternative music, alcohol, sarcasm, boxing, hatha yoga, and House (the TV series,not the music genre)
loathes indifference, power trippers, narcissists, giant egos and bad breath
tries to live by the quote "Postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing." by Anais Nin
random ramblings
On work
I'm sooo tired. I've never left the office happy. Oftentimes, I leave it mad. Not only because of the workload, but because of some superiors who couldn't care less if they're stepping on you, or if their behaviour is worth getting any respect from younger colleagues. I'm tired of going overtime because of inadequate organization. I'm tired of not having time for myself and just going home in time for bed. I'm tired of eating lunch at 130PM or dinner at 9PM. Most of all, I'm tired of not eating breakfast and starting the day with a weak body and a more fragile spirit.
On masochism and homesickness
Yes they're related. At least for me. Haha. Last Friday, I got my upper ear pierced at Far East Plaza. It was a spur of the moment decision. I was heavily burdened, as Christians will put it, so I opted for a quick fix. I know it sounds stupid for some, but it's better than getting drunk then passing out, then regretting everything the morning after. And honestly, dealing with loneliness the Kleenex way isn't really my type of thing. It gets too tiring to be too in touch with your emotions.
When I told Tatoff about it, he knew I did because I was pissed at him. He knows me that well. Although, he's not really the only reason I felt like resorting to physical pain to mask the emotional turmoil. Last week was a whirlwind for me, I don't know why. I just felt so low and of course, didn't tell anyone about it but him and my best friend Aja. I guess those rants were to blame for his hibernation as well. It was wrong for me to have made him feel so left out in all my quarter-life plans. I should've known better.
On writing
Sometimes I don't know why I'm doing this for a living. I don't even proofread my blog entires. Haha. I mean, I enjoy the conceptualizing part but when you're an advertising copywriter, most of the time it's not about writing anything yourself. It's about your Creative Director, the Accounts Head and the Clients telling YOU what and how to write. It's a thankless job, I believe. You write all day and even night, but you end up not finding your voice. It's ironic how both of us junior writers here are the quiet types. Well maybe just in this office. In my case, behind that silence and patience is a furious and frustrated 24-year old writing and cursing in her head, and imagining the most cruel things that she wants to do to those who deserve it. It really helps in dealing with anger, you know? Unless they consider having those intentions as a sin.
On staying in SG
During one YM conversation last week, my friend Ala, who has migrated to Australia a year ago asked me a question I can't believe I couldn't answer. "How long are you staying there?" It was so simple then, when I was jobhunting and excited to embark on a new journey. But now it becomes a harsh reality that I dread dealing with. It's not easy living in a foreign country alone, and especially when your other half is back home. Like what Randy said, "Kalahati ka lang dyan." (Only half of you is there) Well, I really don't want to think so. I still believe it's only YOU who can complete yourself. But then again, it's easier said than done. At the end of the day when I'm lying in bed, the loneliness just sinks in and I ask myself "Am I really staying here for good?" I told myself I would though. Oh I don't know. Only time will tell. I just hope we can be together here. So if someone ask me that question in the near future again, I'll be true blue Pinoy and say "Bahala na." Well, maybe in English.
6:06 PM
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
