Welcome to the jungle!
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meet the predator
call me jenie
born on 02/20/83 after my Dad & Mom drank beer and ate balut 9 months before
lives in Singapore, but always a Pinoy at heart
works as an advertising copywriter, but hates proofreading her blog entries
loves true friends, fake DVD's, alternative music, alcohol, sarcasm, boxing, hatha yoga, and House (the TV series,not the music genre)
loathes indifference, power trippers, narcissists, giant egos and bad breath
tries to live by the quote "Postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing." by Anais Nin
the wait is killing me.
I know I should be jumping for joy. Well I already did. Except I had to suspend my jump in mid-air because I can't be rejoicing completely. Not yet. It's that so-near-yet-still-far feeling I've been bearing for the past two weeks. I know two weeks isn't long compared to a woman waiting for her husband to come back from battle. Or a couple waiting for 9 months to see whether they're having a normal and healthy offspring. But still, two weeks is long if you're in my situation.
Unfortunately, I cannot disclose any information about this matter. Not yet. Because like what I said, it's almost there, but not quite. Sigh. Please arrive already. My patience has been tested rigorously the past few months, man. From waiting for July to visit Philippines to waiting for Tatoff to visit me on August. I've taken it one day at a time, just so I won't be so anxious. I've looked forward to sunsets, which means one day less on my calendar.
But this two weeks has been torturous, if I may add. And loved ones asking you about it every single day doesn't help at all. It's frustrating to have no definite waiting time, not knowing if the 'deadline' is this week, or the next. I just have to keep waiting and waiting til it comes, until it sets me free.
Although I know waiting for Tatoff to stay here for good is more uncertain, there's something about it that has kept me calm. Maybe after buckets of tears and words of encouragement from one another, both of us have learned to accept that this 'waiting time' will be good for our relationship in the long run. It will test our commitment and loyalty, as well as our commitment to our goals together. It's easier said than done, obviously. I've learned that nothing can ever test a relationship so much than distance. And nothing else can strengthen it more.
And so it is. We let each day go by, holding on to our strength and our Creator's, hoping that one day, we'll forget we ever waited.
For now, my indefinite waiting for that important turning point is still on. I swear, my patience is being tested to high heavens. And I'm absolutely failing it. You should've seen me walk from home to the MRT station this morning because I refused to wait for the bus. Then seconds after, I see the bus driving past me.
Oh well, such is life. Maybe I should just let it go and forget about it for a while. And I guess the first step is to stop writing about it.
5:28 PM
Monday, July 30, 2007
